New York Times Editors Mobilize an Army of Cliches to Exhort Pakistani Government

In an editorial entitled “Pakistan, Its Own Worst Enemy,” the entire editorial board of New York Times has brought together its ninja brain powers to state the obvious. It is fascinating to read this cliche-ridden article and to marvel at this mastery of teaching the Pakistanis the very basics about the politics of their own country.

But then, maybe, it does take the total mental acumen of the New york Times editorial board to tell Pakistanis “Mr. Sharif should resolve to govern better while the military focuses on its primary concern, defeating the Taliban threat.”

On behalf of millions of Pakistanis, who were not aware of this complex truth, how could they if they don’t have the New York Times, I would like to thank the Times for this great service.

“We were so lost, said one political activist from Rawalpindi, “but after reading the insightful editorial by the geniuses of the New York Times, I now understand Pakistan better and hope to do better.”

When asked about the impact of this brilliant piece of international journalism, the Leader of a major political party acknowledged that until his staff sent him the copy of the article, he was absolutely in the dark and now, thanks to new York Times, his views on the current policies of Pakistan will be more nuanced and better informed.

The editorial was also very well received by the senior officers of the Pakistan Army. “We had almost lost our way” said a senior military commander, “but now that the New York Times has reminded us, we will go back to fighting the Taliban.” It is reported by a ranking military official who did not want to be named , that “the army chief has made it mandatory for all senior officers to read all new York Times Editorials.”

When reached, the Pakistani leader of the Taliban refused to comment on the specific editorial but called the New York Times “the official newspaper of the great Satan!”

Sadly, the editors of the New York Times were too busy putting together their Sunday issue and could, therefore, not be reached for a comment!

By M R

Originally from Pakistan, Dr. Masood Ashraf Raja is an Associate Professor of Postcolonial Literature and Theory and the editor of Pakistaniaat: A Journal of Pakistan Studies.
Raja tweets @masoodraja

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